Passivity
After Absalom commits the murder of Amnon, he flees for his life and remains in exile for three years. Despite being aware of Absalom's whereabouts, David never tries to reach out or send any communication. Three years later, Joab, the captain of David's army, initiates Absalom's return (14:1–23). However, even when Absalom is back in the palace, David refuses to see him, stating, "He may return to his house, but he may not see my face" (v. 24).
David's family is in disarray, and each tragic event could have been prevented with more active involvement. David could have intervened to prevent Amnon from acting on his perverse desires. He could have comforted Tamar after her assault, potentially averting Absalom's pursuit of revenge. Even with the devastation in the past, David still has the opportunity to mitigate further harm. Reaching out to Absalom could prevent his descent into deeper darkness. Unfortunately, David remains passive once more.
The prevalent temptation men face, then and now, is not necessarily overt wickedness but the subtler yet equally destructive path of apathy and inaction. Observing the state of family affairs in contemporary society, particularly in the United States, there is sorrow over fathers failing to fulfill their God-given roles. This failure is often manifested not only in cases of outright abuse but more frequently in the form of absent fathers—men more interested in sports updates than the lives of their children. Most would have been dismissed long ago if the same level of apathy seen in many men's domestic lives were mirrored in their professional endeavors.
Regrettably, David remains entrenched in passivity, possibly nursing old wounds or engrossed in other royal duties. His failure to take action doesn't just result in the unraveling of his own family. Still, it extends to the destabilization of an entire nation. Absalom, a simmering powder keg, is poised to explode—it's not a matter of if but when and how.
The descent into chaos begins with a seemingly trivial act of vandalism in 14:29–30. Frustrated by his father's continued indifference, Absalom resorts to destructive measures to gain attention. He sets fire to Joab's fields, David's chief advisor, sparking renewed motivation in Joab to mediate between David and Absalom.
Joab successfully brings Absalom back into King David's presence, but the family dynamics in Jerusalem remain far from harmonious. Like many dysfunctional families, they avoid addressing the underlying issues, choosing to gloss over the five years of silence and the grievous acts that caused the estrangement—a strategy destined for a problematic outcome.
David, having failed to address the initial turmoil following Tamar's rape, now faces the same volatile son, still seething with anger and capable of significant violence. However, David's response remains unchanged, mirroring Absalom's continued defiance.
There is no indication that Absalom exhibited repentance or sought his father's forgiveness, nor did he engage in the prescribed rituals at the temple. Their reunion, while physically bringing them together, didn't establish a genuine peace; instead, it formed a fragile truce. Absalom harbored a hidden agenda, determined to seize David's throne.